So last night I had one of the worst nights I've had in a long time. Starting at 10:30, from when I got home, I did 5 hours straight of homework, attempting and failing to sleep at 3:30am after writing my first paper. I was so sad I couldn't keep myself from crying. All I wanted to do was write it down here; why oh why did my shitty internet have to choose that particular moment to refuse to connect? I tried sleeping again. It worked eventually; I'm pretty sure I got about 4.5 hours of sleep however.

In have no money. Every penny I have is spoken for, whether it's food or gas money to get to school. It's interesting. I have enough to just live. I kind of like it, and I'm getting used to it. I mean, I'm looking for a job that will be able to provide me with more money, but it's very humbling. I think humbling situations are important to experience.

Well I thought I was in a bigger mood to blog; apparently I'm not.

Besides, I don't want to get myself down.

Let's start off with some poetry, shall we? (Seeing as I am now an English major.)

                   "Do I dare to eat a peach?"

Yep, that's it. Do I dare...? We'll find out. Perhaps this is all about self-exploration. Perhaps it's adding that bit of me to the internets my now-boyfriend is always sermonizing about. If I'm on the internet, he'll find me.

I don't think I feel much like going into any sort of life-detail right now. I'm hopefully on an upswing, and looking back on my incredibly depressing (ha!) downswing seems a bit... depressing.

-Do I have any readers?-

I saw Angels in America with my Freshman Seminar group today. I don't believe anyone with a soul could watch that and not be affected in some way. Two parts that stood out for me include:

1) The main woman characted of the play, with whom I could, unfortunately, relate to a a pretty large scale, says the following (paraphrased): "People are like planets; they need a fixed point to [orbit] around."

2) The one gay man was telling his boyfriend about his illness, and the boyfriend was upset that he had not been told earlier. In response, the boyfriend says something like: "When I tell you things like this, I end up comforting you." And this is true, and the reason I'm sure most people keep things to themselves- you always end up trying to convince the person that you're really ok and that nothing's really wrong. Which of course isn't the case or anything.

That's all I have the energy for right now...